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Mon, 11 Dec 2006 12:46:17 -0500 |
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I have heard Dr. Newman speak on this topic as well. Dr. Newman seems to be
famous (or infamous) for not messing around with words. He calls it like he
sees it. Bravo to him, even if I don't always agree :-).
From Websters:
* Guilt: a feeling of culpability for offenses
* Shame (noun): - a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt,
shortcoming, or impropriety
Shame (verb): - to force by causing to feel guilty
* Regret: sorrow aroused by circumstances beyond one's control or power to
repair
We can't make someone feel guilty. We can make a client aware of her
options and the possible outcomes. If she feels guilt, that is a natural
consequence to doing something wrong. Her internal moral monitor is telling
her something valuable. We use guilt all the time to influence people's
decisions. Guilt has gotten a bad rap, in my opinion. Guilt is a healthy emotion
that gives us an indication that we need to change something.
We can also shame a client, which I think is where the confusion comes in.
Using shame is not an effective health education tool.
I've heard it said that guilt is the emotion felt when you've done something
wrong. Shame is when you internalize someone else's negative opinion about
you or your actions. Regret is the emotion felt after the fact, when there's no
chance of fixing it.
There is a difference between telling a client that "feeding a baby artificial milk
will increase the risk of certain poor health outcomes" VS something to the
effect of "mothers who use formula don't care about their babies" (which
would of course be a crappy thing to say to anyone). If we are giving out
FACTS in order to allow the woman to make an informed decision, how is that
mis-using guilt? If she is leaning towards using formula without a medical
reason, she will likely feel guilty (IF she accepts our former statement to be
true). If a woman uses formula because there is no better alternative, she is
not going to feel guilty; she may feel regret.
Anyway, semantics are in important in this conversation, as the popular
negative connotation of the word "guilt" may really imply another word entirely.
Hopes this makes sense.
Warm greetings,
Karen Wilson, RN IBCLC
Thornton, CO
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