I do find that parents respond well to hearing how the past is affecting 
the present situation. I do find that the past is very important. This 
is why IBCLCs are supposed to take a breastfeeding history to get the 
pertinent data to problem solve. Of course, this is not wallowing in 
what happened but using it as an explanation of why we are at where we 
are today -- along with the guidance to get to a better place tomorrow.

I think we need to tell mothers the truth -- with politeness and 
respect. "Let me tell you what I think is going on here...."  I feel the 
parents need to know why this baby is doing what it is doing and how we 
get the baby out of this hole and succeed at breastfeeding (if 
possible). Whether baby appears too drugged to transfer milk properly 
from childbirth pain medications or whether baby is tongue tied. And to 
say it without emotion or blame, just matter of fact.

I find that when parents are told the truth, they tend to work at 
recovering the BF relationship, rather than just blaming BF as "too 
hard" or "no one can do it anymore." Moms often blame their own anatomy 
for why breastfeeding isn't going well -- as in "I just don't have 
enough milk."

Kathy Eng, BSW, IBCLC

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