This column appeared on Monday in a variety of newspapers.
Dear Annie: My friend, "Lisa," and I both gave birth to daughters seven
years ago, and we both breastfed our infants. Lisa had another two
children and breastfed those infants as well, but she also continued
breastfeeding the others. Now her children are 7, 5 and 3, and all of
them are still breastfeeding.
Last month, I took my daughter over to Lisa's house to play. I was
shocked when the 3-year-old walked up to his mother, pulled up her
shirt, and started breastfeeding while we were sitting at the kitchen
table having lunch. Later, as we sat talking in the family room, her
5-year-old son did the same thing. My chin almost hit the floor. I
didn't say anything, but Lisa noticed I was uncomfortable. She said,
"Breastfeeding is healthy for the children."
After that, I excused myself and left with my daughter. As you can
imagine, my daughter had a lot of questions on the drive home. Although
she has seen relatives breastfeeding their babies, she couldn't
understand what was going on in this situation. I'm not sure I
understand it, either.
Annie, I have no problem with breastfeeding infants, but these are
walking, talking children who attend school. Am I a prude? And, if this
is normal, how should I have behaved? I have not gotten together with
Lisa in her home since this happened, and frankly, I'm not sure I want
to. But our daughters are in the same class at school, so I am bound to
see her somewhere. Tell me what to do. -- Red-Faced Friend
Dear Red-Faced: While breastfeeding a toddler is quite common, most
children wean themselves long before the age of 7. Nursing a child that
age is often more for Mom's benefit than the child's. Our concern is if
Lisa is encouraging an unhealthy dependence. However, what Lisa chooses
to do in her own home is her business. The friendship need not suffer.
If it makes you uncomfortable, arrange to see Lisa outside her home, and
have your daughters play together at your house.
Can we write these folks? They need to know that breastfeeding older
kids is not just beneficial to mom, and that it does not create an
unhealthy dependence. AHH, maybe if a bunch of us writes, one will get
published. This would be especially so if those of you with lots of
letters after your name use those letters. Here is the address.
Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime
editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to
[log in to unmask], or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box
118190, Chicago, IL 60611.
Joylyn
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