Thank you so much, Lynn for this comment.
I agree that this type of birth plan is just that--a defense against a
system the mother cannot trust. Funny, that the institution only sees
is as refelcting a flaw in the mother and not in itself. Mothers at
home do not have to ask for the long list of "don't wants"--they would
never be subjected to them there. And, these moms are not seen as rigid
at home. Why is it considered rigid to expect that our bodies work and
birth works? Again, as soon as mothers come from the paradigm that they
are in charge and that the deicisons are theirs to be made, they are
labelled as rigid and a system invested in being necessary proves it so
just about every time. In the end, only the mother is ever flawed. So,
the mother shouold be accountable and be informed and ask for what she
wants, but if she steps outside off the narrow path of what is
acceptable, she is the problem.
This reminds me of the way we are taught to give control and power to
toddlers. Ask if they want to wear the white socks or the blue socks,
not if they want to wear socks. This way, they think they are making
choices, while we remain in control of the outcome. I have to wonder
how a mother with so little autonomy ever gains any confidence as a
mother.
Jennifer Tow, IBCLC, CT, USA
"I have often heard it said that the longer the birth plan is, the more
likely the mom is to have a cesarean. That really bugged me. The
someone reframed it for me: The longer the birth plan, the more likely
the mom is just plain incompatible with the doctor/setting, and she
needs to find one that suits her better. They "need" intervention
because they are instinctively defending themselves."
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