In a message dated 1/11/2006 3:20:17 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,  
[log in to unmask] writes:

Brilliant! You've certainly taught "an old dog" a new trick with  the
smoothness of that approach! Bravo!>>>
 
thank you Jean, ..."smooth" is a good way to describe  this type of approach.
 
In many situations with new moms my goal is  usually to make it a smooth way 
of *eliciting* suggestions, options,  answers, solutions, ...ie; with new moms 
I try to keep my mouth shut more than  I might tend to, to listen more or 
mostly, and find opportunities to ask  pertinent questions that help moms clarify 
their values and their inherent  knowledge --> empowerment and progressively 
increased confidence  in their ability to mother.
 
me automatically yakking the answers and  solutions is much quicker but not 
nearly as effective or  meaningful.
 
I guess this is something along the lines of  "therapeutic communication 101" 
from nursing school.
 
ie; in Bf moms group as the moms would be taking  their turn to voice a 
concern or problem, I would sit on my hands as a way to  *remind myself* to listen 
and avoid giving advice/answers/solutions, instead,  ask question if necessary 
that leads the group, along with the mom, to  answers/solutions/options. 
 
....the mom with the problem gets the peer support  and advantage of the 
group's experience, the other moms get to be the experts,  which they come to 
*love* about group (maybe even more than the baby wt  scale!), and I get to be the 
cheerleader.
 
Most new moms know most of the answers most of  the time, they just may need 
encouragement and positive reinforcement to get  there and then to really 
realize it in  themselves.



 
Debbie  Tobin
RN BSN IBCLC LCCE

Fairfax County, Virginia suburbs  outside the Washington DC beltway

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