Dear Colleagues,

The discussion on toddlers being able to be away from their moms for a
couple of days or more got me thinking about what the child really needs.
Is it just the nutrition from the breast or is it more than that?  IMHO, the
emotional need for the mother is very important.  When a toddler is taken
away from its mother, it can be given breastmilk in a cup but that is not
the same as being at the breast.  To me, the difference is the mother's
presence.  How do we know what the child is feeling inside when separated
from mom?  Sometimes, children are open books and let us know through their
behavior that they are very unhappy by separation; other times, they don't.
I personally worry more about the child who does not seem to have a reaction
(think of all those children in orphanages who became very quiet to the
point of depression).

A few years ago, I heard a discussion on the psychological needs of the
young child.  The speaker's name did not stick with me but this thought did:
Children do not have a sense of time until they are 3 years old or more.  So
a separation of a few hours can seem like an eternity to toddlers.  They can
jump for joy when mom returns or they can be very sullen.  My first child
found it hard, at the age of two, to forgive me when I was away for 3 days
when my second was born in a hospital (in the dark ages, siblings were not
allowed to visit).

It is not an easy decision and I don't know how the judges handle being in
such a difficult position.  I sympathize with the mother who has to endure
the consequences, but most of all, I worry about the child.

Lee Galasso, MS, IBCLC, RLC

Lactation Specialist

Westchester County, NY State

 

 


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