On Mon, 1 Aug 2005 Jeanette Panchula wrote:
One of the problems I often hear from moms I see during home visits who are
from Latin America, is that they tell me that they can't breastfeed when
they are tense or upset because their milk becomes bitter/spoiled (se me
agria la leche). .... I know many moms I work with have fears of
not having a food in the house tomorrow - or that they will be deported
tomorrow - or that the family they are staying with will kick them out of
the house tomorrow...and still they breastfeed. .... We need more
information and research about how to help moms DESPITE
stressful lives - I know some recommend deep breathing, others music, others
visualizing a calm sea or a rushing waterfall, or dad giving mom a back
rub...
~~~~~~~~~
Good points, Jeanette. One thing I make a point of, especially if mothers
are concerned about relaxation, is to reassure them that they *don't* have
to relax. I tell them that I won't lay that extra obligation on them and
then I do a little spiel about how stressful it is to worry about "having
to" relax:- "I have to this, and I have to that, and I have to do the
other - and I have to RELAX, too! Aargh!!!" Just the fact of being
reassured that this isn't yet another item to add to their "have to" list,
usually seems to release some of the tension, visibly. Instead of telling
them to relax, I talk about looking at their lives and seeing what they can
change and what they can't change. The focus is on lessening the negative
sort of stress. The handout I give them is, I tell them, not for me to fill
in and tell them what to do, but belongs to them. Sure, it does mention
relaxation techniques, but only as part of a reappraisal of what they can to
do make their lives simpler, at least for the time being - and to accept
what they can't change. I see it as more positive to encourage them to look
at ways to reduce tension, rather than laying it on them that they "have to"
relax.
As added reassurance, I talk about how some of the tensest Mums I've seen in
my practice had fire-hose letdown, and that I assume these women's bodies
are used to their being tense - it's normal for them - and their bodies let
the milk down just fine. I also remind my mothers about wild animals, who
are anything by calm and docile, and how they will growl at a potential
intruder even while the cubs are latched on, feeding.
One of the things I suggest is lying down while talking on the phone -
simple little things like that. For years I've been suggesting mothers put
their feet up with a funny book or video, as a good belly laugh seems to
release tension. (But I try to avoid the word "relax".) The "holiday in
bed with the baby", which worked years ago, is something I find myself
suggesting regularly today. The mothers are usually creative in figuring
out a way to do that, that will fit in with their lives, even if it is only
for a day. Besides, taking the baby to bed and doing lots of skin-to-skin
and feeding is going to help the stress levels, anyway.
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