Dear all;
Dr. T has shared that a mother she is working with has a very consistently
unhappy baby in daycare.
How frustrated and sad this mother must feel! I can only imagine her
trepidation as she goes to rejoin her children at daycare, feeling as
thought her baby may have had "problems" during her absence and she is going
to "hear" about it. My heart goes out to her, and I commend her for her
commitment.
I appreciate the posts others have made; thank you, Norma, for suggesting we
need to provide working mothers with more options to keep their babies
close. Shannon suggested a bit of skin contact with the care provider.
Thank you to those of you who gave information and suggestions about
offering smaller portions, good physical contact, slinging, and learning
more about whether bottles are being propped, etc. Those are all really
good places to start, in trying to determine what may be contributing to the
triggering of these behaviors.
I would like to suggest a few more things- can this mother get to her baby
to nurse at any point during the day? Is the care provider willing to bring
the baby to mother to nurse? Would this mother be open to finding another
care provider until the point that baby is not as unhappy, particularly if
her care provider is not willing to be flexible and accommodating?
In the event none of these things are workable, the baby may benefit from:
mother's voice- soothing tape recording of mother singing, talking to baby
using his name; phone calls from mother, if she's not already calling- and
talking to HIM- can the provider call mother for soothing in the event the
baby is inconsolable? And last, but certainly not least, I wonder if this
baby would benefit from a worn article of mother's clothing? Some babies
are able to relax a bit more if they can smell mother; a worn nightie or
other item that has been worn a few days (doesn't smell like laundry
detergent) can do wonders for some babies who miss their mothers intensely.
Cee brings up a good point about mothers feeling guilty or pressured if they
have to return to work. I'm sorry, Cee, that you didn't get good
information from LLL. These days, LLL has a wealth of information to offer
mothers who have separation. This mother can also be encouraged to visit
the LLL web site (www.lalecheleague.org) to get more information. Under
the "breastfeeding information" link, she can find FAQs by subject or topic,
including (but not limited to) working and breastfeeding, milk storage
guidelines, making the transition back to work and many, many others. In
addition, there are articles from LLL's magazine for mothers, NEW
BEGINNINGS, that are available. There's a whole slew on working and
pumping! Perhaps she could get some additional ideas there?
Some mothers may not thoroughly examine their personal situations to help
them come to a conclusion that is workable for staying home. Many mothers
don't know the effect separation actually has on their babies, and that
information can make a huge impact on decisions. Some mothers are single
parents and literally have no choice but to return to work. Regardless of
the end result, *all* breastfeeding mothers need to be supported. Many
mothers have been 100% successful breastfeeding after a return to work. I
can only hope that at some point, babies are allowed to accompany mothers as
they go about their daily lives as adults; or at the very least be *very*
near by and easily accessible to their mothers.
I would also encourage this mother to attend an evening LLL meeting, if she
has one in her Area. Meetings can be a great place to meet other mothers,
working or not, and to be in an environment of support. Other working
mothers who attend can share their solutions, and maybe this mother can be
encouraged and get more ideas.
I wish this mother the best of luck. She's lucky to have Dr. Tieman and
others for support, since it sounds like she is getting the short end of the
stick from the daycare providers. What an uncomfortable situation she must
be in.
I don't think it's too late to make lemonade as best she can.
Warmly,
Tallis M.
***********************************************
To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail
To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest)
To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
All commands go to [log in to unmask]
The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned
LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(R)
mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html
|