Praise this mother for her focus and desire to breastfeed, but convey
that she doesn't need to "try harder," she needs to "try softer." If
she has confidence that babies are meant to breastfeed, and that luring
the baby back may require small steps over several weeks, she can ease
out of panic mode. A first step might be just getting the baby happy to
relax at the breast again.
She's already seen her abrupt attempts backfire, since a hungry baby
doesn't suddenly learn to breastfeed. Feed the baby by the least
stressful method -- probably using a slow-flow bottle for paced feedings
that encourage active sucking and some breastfeeding behaviors (there's
lots in the archives on this, with links to Dee Kassing's methods). She
can feel that she's making a small step with that, instead of seeing
every bottlefeeding as a failure. Some mothers do prefer an alternative
supplementing method, but unless the baby latches well enough to use a
supplementer at the breast, it's hard to say that cup-feeding or
finger-feeding would move her any closer to the goal.
Encourage her in her pumping, explaining that she may not get much in
the early sessions, which are only "placing the order." If she can see
pumping as protecting the supply, and making the baby's job easier
(because the supply will be waiting for him) and helping her compete
successfully with the bottle, it may help her keep up the frequency.
It might help her to know that enough other mothers have battled through
this scenario that it rates its own FAQ at the LLLI website, with links
to two excellent, idea-filled articles:
http://www.lalecheleague.org/FAQ/back.html
Margaret Wills, LLLL, IBCLC
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