Nikki Lee has made an excellent point--any interrogative question which can
be answered "Fine" likely will be, and we will be none the wiser.  I have
had similar (almost identical in this respect) experiences--when I hear
"Fine," I realize I've been stonewalled by polite convention and that by the
rules governing communication in my society, it is my turn for a more
specific question.  This is what the mom is waiting for, and this waiting
may be so automatic that she will not break through to tell me of her needs
without me playing my role in specifically asking for details about them.

Also, she may be absorbed by her recent experience of birth, making it
difficult for her to think beyond convention and get her needs met.  That
puts more of the responsibility on me to discover what those needs are.

Finally, there is the reluctance many women exhibit to speak of their
needs--a self-esteem issue.  And in many cultures, prudery is considered to
be one of woman's essential feminine qualities, and so talking about nipple
or breast pain threatens our self-image.

A lot of potential barriers to communication.

Arly Helm, MS, IBCLC

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