I am not an LC or a NICU nurse, I am the mother of two NICU babies, one
was SGA and one was preemie, both born at 2 kilo, 4.5 lb. I was an
experienced mother and an experienced nurser. These were babies # 3 and
4 for me, I had nursed and mothered my other kids successfully and I
had been in the childbirth business for several years when my third was
born. So my response is personal, what would have been helpful to me
when I was the new Mom in that situation.
Support, support, support. Just be there, be a shoulder to cry on.
Having a baby in a NICU is very tough. You are separated from the baby
when every fibre in your body wants to hold, nurse, cuddle him or her.
You are scared about the health of your baby, you are vulnerable, not
to mention all the normal hormonal gymnastics the body goes through
after birth.
Help the parents navigate the NICU system. It is all very high tech,
intimidating. When I work as a doula for a woman in labor, part of my
job is to advocate, to help her ask the questions she needs to ask of
the medical staff so she can make informed choices about her care and
birth. Sometimes I translate between doctors and parents, so that they
know what their choices are and can make decisions based on more
complete understanding of the options being presented (sometimes I even
offer a few options not suggested by the medical staff). The same is
true of NICUs. There is very little that is written in stone about
procedures etc. for the babies. Parents need to understand what is
happening and what their choices are. This is their baby and they need
to have some ownership of his or her care. It will help them to become
parents of a small baby and I think it is also good for the NICU staff
and the baby as well. Of course, this is not always easy, and doulas
don't always know about NICU care, but as a doula you are and advocate
for the family, you can hear the doctor's explanations, ask questions
and translate to the parents.
My experience is that different hospitals have different protocols
about breastfeeding, which by definition means that there is no one
right way to do things.
I guess, in short, supporting parents and empowering them to ask
question - make sure that their concerns are addressed and answered in
a way they understand - so that they can make choices is an important
part of the doula's job in this situation.
Naomi Bar-Yam
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Naomi Bar-Yam Ph.D.
[log in to unmask]
Researcher, Writer, Educator
in Maternal and Child Health
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