on 2/7/04 11:43 AM, Automatic digest processor at
[log in to unmask] wrote:
> I wonder if one facet of this problem can be a mother's determination to
> breastfeed when she is fighting negative influences in her environment.
> Perhaps so many people are giving her advice, which may not be welcome, that
> she
> digs her heels in and won't listen to anyone.
Iıve been working on this post for a while, and I want to say that I agree
with what Nikki has written: Some resistance to help might be breastfeeding
determination.
Itıs possible that the mothers who apparently think things are going well
really do know that something isnıt quite right but are still trying to come
to terms with it and the big changes in their lives before getting the type
of help that works for them. That might come across as resistance to
information or to a certain care provider. And it might have less to do with
the care provider and her information than what else is going on with the
mother.
I had had no experience with hospitals before my oldest was born, and I was
truly shocked at the indignity of birth and postpartum care in the U.S.
with all these women bossing me around and treating me as if I were a child.
I had just given birth without pain meds I felt like Superwoman, esp.
after hearing all the birth horror stories from other women, but I was still
getting interrupted from my birth high and bonding time with my son by
condescending little talks about baby and intimate personal care.
By the time I got home, I knew that breastfeeding was not going well he
wasnıt latching and he was crying a lot. His diaper had uric acid crystals.
The home visit nurse who came to my house when he was three days old plunked
herself down on my bed, shoved a handout at me on how to calm a crying baby
and told me to feed formula since my milk wasnıt in yet. She wouldnıt tell
me what the ³brick dust² was Iım really not sure she knew anyway. I didnıt
get a feeling of support, but of bullying superiority, from her visit. When
the LCs did their follow-up phone calls, I told them what I knew they wanted
to hear. I wasnıt really counting the number of times I was breastfeeding or
attempting to anyway. My baby and I figured out breastfeeding over the next
couple of weeks, thanks to a lot of trial-and-error and tears and also
Kathleen Hugginsı Nursing Mothers Companion, which I bought after using the
excerpt in the formula bag. I also had a great, calming pediatrician.
I truly hope that I wouldıve noticed something seriously wrong, but I was
sick of even well-meaning health care authority figures bossing me around.
The last thing I wanted was someone telling me that breastfeeding wasnıt
going to work and I think subconsciously I thought that was what was going
to happen if I sought outside help. That wasnıt a completely unrealistic
notion, as I already had an RN and my mother, MIL and husband telling me
that I should just give formula.
Building rapport and not being too pushy could very well lead to the mother
contacting the LC or MD once she has reclaimed the situation. I realize,
though, thatıs hard to sit on oneıs hands and wait when babies are at risk.
Kathleen Whitfield
Riverside, CA USA
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