Please forgive me I need to vent.

No clients yesterday because school was cancelled which was great to get
out into the snow with my son.  A short day today which wasn't because it
wasn't enough time to see a client or go home and work on the books, so I
went to a "coffee" at my son's school put on by the director and then to
Barnes and Nobles.  I walked out with a mom who I thought was a "cool" mom.
She asked me what I told moms about how long to nurse, and my first
response was "I'm delighted if I can help them to nurse more than they
would have been able to without help."  Then launched into my prenatal
breastfeeding class spiel (which I forgot is targeted to Elizabeth Seton
Clients who are already into natural delivery) and mentioned the at least 2
years is great and the hard core evidence backs it up, but our culture is
not very supportive of making that possible and that's why the AAP stopped
short at 1 year of age.  Then silly me - I mentioned the child-led
weaning.

Sigh - how could I have forgotten where I live?  With nothing whatsoever to
back up her statements she went on about the sexual element and how it
wouldn't be fair to the child and how the child would be teased.  I find
myself stumped in these situations.

We had a whole talk at this nursery school with a suggested workbook for
children on masturbation.  The speaker talked about lying in bed reading a
book to her child while her child was masturbating and asking her child how
it felt.  Yet, the most natural of all mammalian acts is deemed deviant.

All I could do was say that from my experience with mothers who choose
child-led weaning, that is not what occurs.  Why didn't I just look at her
and say "Well, my son nurses and his friends don't tease him, his not the
least bit ashamed, perturbed  or abnormally sexual.  Want to make something
of it or ask Isabell (the child psychologist at the school) if my son's
warped?"  But I didn't of course.  Can't think fast enough on my feet to
not come off as pissed off.

Why do people close their minds?

I even had a mom who was very gung ho on breastfeeding, find it weird that
she heard La Leche League has recipes for baked goods with breast milk.  If
you think about this at all, what is so normal about cow's milk in our
baked goods.  It does not take much imagination to think through the
bizarre cultural practices that we have that make no sense if you think
about biology.

And then I went on to Barnes and Nobles to read the line in the Baby
Whisperer about how great it is that moms can get cow's milk that's better
than breast milk through genetic engineering.  Yeah, wooopee whoppee.  We
can move on to the Brave New World where our children are genetically
engineered to suit their tasks in life, raised in artificial wombs with no
bodily contact involved in their reproduction, brought up in groups where
they are tended by specialists but not parents, and adults are free to live
in a child-free world.  Isn't that something to look forward to?

Oh yes, someone who wanted a visit with us told us that her doula
recommended that she not feed her baby any more often than every 3 hours.
Her baby was screaming most of the time, and the doula made her swaddle the
baby and not feed her.  Then the doula told her she had to feed her baby
formula because she was dehydrated.  The doula never reported the baby's
condition to the pediatrician.  The mom fortunately did some online reading
and discovered that the doula was telling her nonsense.  Can I report this
woman to the doula service?  Isn't this dispensing medical advice without a
license?  I NEVER EVER recommend formula and if I think it might be
warranted in an exclusively breastfed baby, I ALWAYS call the pediatrician
to describe my observations, especially if I'm afraid of dehydration.

I need to vent a little today.  My sexually deviant son is taking a short
nap.

Best, Susan Burger

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