Still following through on this idea of giving our children smaller,
than bigger choices. We still have influence in setting out the pros and
the cons... which isn't a bad thing. Critical thinking seems to be
diminishing in the information age, and with the failure of traditional
sources of authority to act responsibly. It is hard to know whom to
trust. If we are the kind of parents who offer choices, we are probably
also the parents who build trust (their own in their children as well as
their children's trust in them). The same is not necessarily true for
our clients, but we owe it to them to model our trust in their decisions.

When we do the "red pyjamas, blue pyjamas" thing (as I call appropriate
choices) we are framing the decision by precluding some of the many
options which may be wished for or available (going to bed with nothing
on in a cold house, going out and buying a pair that is "suitable") --
or the "no pyjamas, new pyjamas" options. (Read it again out loud) This
does not make the approach less fair, it makes it fairer -- all choices
are not inherently equal.

If that is true, the question to ask is not a "yes/no" or "either/or"
one. Closed questions cut conversation. Give two options (breast/bottle)
and they seem equal. A better question might be, "What questions do you
have about breastfeeding your baby?" Chances are you will *not* get "Why
would I do it?" as a question, you would get something closer to "I'm
not sure I'm going to be able to do it," which opens up the dialogue and
lets the information -- as well as the support -- come in.

My dh, bless his heart, is working hard teaching me to "just ask" --
radical pedagogy suggests that learning to ask questions is the most
rapid path to empowerment. As helpers, parents, professionals we can
model that.

Jo-Anne Elder-Gomes, who was recently asked: "Is it tired to think like
that?" Well, yes.... sort of...

             ***********************************************

To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail
To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest)
To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
All commands go to [log in to unmask]

The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned
LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM)
mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html