I saw much blaming of this mother for not
trying hard enough to breastfeed with little attempt to understand the
reality of her situation.

It is true that I sometimes see a woman with incredibly damaged, sore,
bleeding nipples or repeated mastitis or other major challenges who
struggles on and continues breastfeeding despite all the challenges, and
another woman who stops breastfeeding because of what seems to me like a
minor problem. But I don't know what that problem is in the context of her
whole life. Perhaps she feels like she can't bear the pain of sore nipples
one more day because she is carrying emotional pain from a terrible
childhood. Perhaps she is afraid to succeed at breastfeeding because her own
mother, who bottlefed, will see it as a rejection and withdraw the emotional
support and love she desperately needs. There are millions of possibilities.


this post was very sobering. thank you. in my zeal for the baby's rights, i
think sometimes i hardly realize this. and the other poster who said some ppl
are not used to having things hard may not be as likely to persevere; while
others who had overcome hurdles regularly may - - well, what an impact that had
on me, too!

i grew up in foster care in southern calif. removed from the custody of an
unfit, addicted and abusive parent, i was placed in foster homes that were
scarcely better. i became legally emancipated at 16, but not before causing a
foster family to lose their license for sexual abuse against me. i have always had
issues with touching. i have never been what i'd consider to be a nurturing
person physically. (which is why bfing 2 babies has been such an unexpectedly
wonderful and healing gift!) i moved across the country to mich. right out of
high school and put myself through college on scholarships, grants, loans and 3
jobs (haha, yes i sometimes walked to class in snow - but never uphill - we
don't have hills in mich!  ;-)  i became a social worker myself b/c mine had
such a positive influence in my life. i worked hard for everything that came my
way. when pgc was a challenge, i rose up to meet it. when my new baby had
challenges, i see now that the resolve in me steeled to meet those, as well. i
forget not everyone is like that. i had no support, many detractors and even
medical experts telling me i was wrong. so i switched peds and ob's until they
could at least pretend to respect my decisions. the way i grew up, i didn't live
and die by authority figures - in fact, often hadn't much use for them! (and
yet can you b/l i'm married to a cop?) and i was used to no support. i never
realized before this thread here on LN that my hardships may have become my
advantages...and that not everyone has been lucky enough for that to be the case.
thanks for giving me something to think about!

~~jacqui gruttadauria, who definitely works harder than her clients are
willing to almost every week and was so overzealous when posting last she forgot to
sign her post!


"bobo, what are you doing to deedle?"
"pankin him butt, mumma"
"bobo, we don't spank in this house"
"ony pank him outside, mumma?"


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