Hi Darillyn,

I agreee with you whole heartedly. The skin to skin contact is so important
and the physical acceptance of the mother in breastfeeding. A lot of how
this might come to be is described in that great book by Ashleigh Montagu
"Touching" which I bought after someone here on Lactnet recommended it. I
highly recommend it.
Just yesterday I was talking to an adoptive mum who has just started
breastfeeding her 6 yo daughter who has an horrific history of multiple
placements and abuse. Breastfeeding was something this little girl wanted
and her mum has only just gotten acclimated to the idea enough to try it (by
the way older children requesting breastfeeding is not uncommon though not
many people talk about it). The thing with older kids like this is that they
can talk about how breastfeeding makes them feel and what it does to them
inside. For this little girl it means comfort and belonging and softness and
being close to her mum. It makes her feel good inside.  The same sort of
feelings would be within little babies I think though they cannot articulate
them. Bottlefeeding, though not a bad way of nurturing if you are not
breastfeeding doesn' come close to the real thing!
Karleen Gribble
Australia

 However, there
> are two groups of babies with whom we see especially dramatic results,
which
> come specifically from nurturing at the breast, regardless of whether the
> adoptive mother is producing milk or not.  One group is infants who have
> been in some way compromised, by FAS, exposure or addiction to drugs,
> prematurity, other health problems that have required traumatic medical
> treatment, etc..  The other group includes babies who have come to their
> adoptive homes at an older age; anywhere from a few months to several
years
> old.
>
> Over the years, I have worked with many other moms who adopt older babies.
> Most commonly, these babies are adopted internationally, and somewhere in
> the neighborhood of 6 months old  at placement, but some are quite a bit
> older.  I have never had a mother tell me that she did not see a
tremendous
> difference in her child, once she has succeeded in teaching him/her to
> accept comfort and security from the breast.  Many of these mothers had
> spent time lovingly and attentively bottlefeeding, prior to establishing
> breastfeeding, but not seen the same dramatic results until the child was
> actually suckling the breast.  This was certainly the case with my Julia.
> The benefit is not only in helping the child build a strong attachement
and
> intimate relationship with the adoptive mother, but in helping the mother
> feel more secure about her place in her child's life.

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