I agree wholeheartedly with this:
>IMO, babies are smart enough to know where the milk is coming from.
>I tell parents that when taking a bottle, baby will focus on the
>container regardless of whe is behind it. So in giving a bottle,
>baby will "bond" with the bottle, but not necessarily with the
>bottle holder. With bathing and/or massaging, baby will bond with
>the person doing it and are therefore much better actions to take to
>bond with baby. Bathing baby can be Dad's "hands on" time with baby
>and feeding is Mom's "hands on" time.
Since my area of focus is breastfeeding adopted children, I have a specific
interest in the topic of bonding and, specifically, the tremendous
advantages that nurturing at the breast offers, over bottlefeeding. These
benefits are obvious, even in full-term babies who are born normal and
healthy and come to their adoptive mothers soon after birth. However, there
are two groups of babies with whom we see especially dramatic results, which
come specifically from nurturing at the breast, regardless of whether the
adoptive mother is producing milk or not. One group is infants who have
been in some way compromised, by FAS, exposure or addiction to drugs,
prematurity, other health problems that have required traumatic medical
treatment, etc.. The other group includes babies who have come to their
adoptive homes at an older age; anywhere from a few months to several years
old.
My third child fit into the first of those groups and my fourth fit into
both of them. These children are now 13 and 12, and I see the benefits to
their having nursed, (Thomas from 2 weeks old to four and half years old,
and Julia, from 12 months to 25 months old), all the time.
Over the years, I have worked with many other moms who adopt older babies.
Most commonly, these babies are adopted internationally, and somewhere in
the neighborhood of 6 months old at placement, but some are quite a bit
older. I have never had a mother tell me that she did not see a tremendous
difference in her child, once she has succeeded in teaching him/her to
accept comfort and security from the breast. Many of these mothers had
spent time lovingly and attentively bottlefeeding, prior to establishing
breastfeeding, but not seen the same dramatic results until the child was
actually suckling the breast. This was certainly the case with my Julia.
The benefit is not only in helping the child build a strong attachement and
intimate relationship with the adoptive mother, but in helping the mother
feel more secure about her place in her child's life.
Bottlefeeding is definitely not equal to breastfeeding, for establishing
emotional attachment. I feel that a father is more likely to establish
intimacy with his baby through activities such as infant massage and
bathing, as well as cuddling skin to skin.
Aloha,
Darillyn
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