In a message dated 5/14/03 9:04:27 AM Eastern Daylight Time, [log in to unmask]
writes:
> Jennifer, that was a beautiful story and I think it would be worth asking
> this mother if she wouldn't mind talking to other mothers of twins in your
> practice as needed.
> More mothers need to hear the "good" stories instead of the disasters.
>
I agree, but just because she's doing well doesn't mean she is ready to talk
to other MOT...yet. My twins were 3rd and 4th and we were doing beautifully
BF -- all things considered. I constantly received comments about how "calm"
I appeared, how "together" I was, how "easily" I seemed to be coping, ya da,
ya da, ya da. I'm tremendously good at appearing calm, serene, etc. when
inside I'm a churning mass of whatever. In the case of BF my twins during
their first months while also caring for two preschoolers while my then
OB/Gyn resident husband was on call at the hospital every 3rd night and every
3rd weekend, I was overwhelmed, out of my depths, a wreck. Many fellow LLLL
called and asked me to talk to other MOT, but I truly didn't feel ready for
several months; I was learning all over -- like a 1st-time mom.
Obviously, I got over it and I'm not suggesting this MOT may not be ready
sooner, I'm only suggesting it is easy to for a mother who wants to help
others to feel guilty if she says "no" before she's ready. Also, there can be
some real benefit to get to talk to and commiserate with another BF MOT, but
MOT can be VERY "needy" and need more talk time than a MOT with infant twins
herself + the older children can spare. Then there's the issue of whom to
send her way -- if an experienced LLLL, this MOT may feel very comfortable
supporting the MOT with preterm or ill babies or the mother with PIH. Or she
may burn out early.
I'm not trying to be negative because it is a good idea. I've a feeling this
MOT will be tremendously supportive soon or the not too distant future, but
it's important for BF moms dealing with any special situations to feel
comfortable saying "no"or "not just yet."
BTW, there is a yahoo group for MOT/MOM who are working on attachment
parenting with their multiples. With few exceptions these MOM have BF and/or
human-milk-fed for long periods. It is a wonderfully supportive bunch overall
who offer all kinds of terrific suggestions. We are at: //groups.yahoo.com/
If the person isn't a subscriber, she'll have to enter a user name and
password. Once in she can search and then subscribe to: APMultiples.
Karen
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