In a message dated 4/27/2003 10:31:08 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:

> A good lead in question for this conversation may be, "I/the nurses keep
> hearing you say you want to breastfeed your babies, but your actions seem
> to disagree with your words... (pregnant pause)."................I've used
> this kind of lead in often..

I appreciate KKG's ability, but I do not think *I* could pull this off
without sounding at least a tad confrontational. Maybe takes practice.

This Bf ambivalence; .....often feels like this is what we spend way too much
time on with way too many moms, in the early PP, ....but necessarily.

Lots of emotional support issues.

By the time they get to the PPLC or Bf support group new moms are more
determined to overcome Bf challenges.

In early PP when oh so frequently faced with S&S of this ambivalence, I
usually ask the mom what her Bf goals are, this way she has to think and
verbalize (values clarification), restate what I hear her saying, then
discuss/review with her what actions will increase the likelihood of her
reaching her Bf goals,

....leading *her* to think of and state appropriate actions, verbalize to her
positively on any good responses she comes up with,

ie; 'Yes, that would be good, ....good point!... yes, very good idea.... - if
she can't, I state at least a couple of actions she has already exhibited as
positive reinforcement and encouragement,

..then ask what does she think might inhibit her reaching her Bf goals,
verbalize positive reinforcment of her good comments, and adding/filling in
the blanks prn as to what actions will likely sabotage her reaching her
goals, ie; actions or comments I've heard from the staff or that we have
noticed or heard.

My goal here is to lead/guide the new mom to come up with her own good
answers and plan for success
--> empowerment and increased self-confidence.

then work on a plan to fix any problems that can be fixed, then practice
fixing the problems, then say everything at least twice cause very early PP
moms can only remember about 10% of what they hear, then practice some more,
and hope they follow the plan.........

After all that, in the most frustrating "ambivalence" situations, I may give
in to my fear (fear of My failure?) and I may sometimes walk out of a mom's
room thinking "this is a hopeless waste of time",

...BUT *Acting like it is not*, cause ya never know and ya get pleasantly
surprised, often enough.

Requires lots of energy.

Debbie Tobin
RN BSN IBCLC LCCE
Springfield, Virginia USA
In the Fairfax County suburbs outside the Washington DC beltway

<A HREF="www.BestBreastfeeding.Info">www.BestBreastfeeding.Info</A>



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