<<She asked if
you have a remedy for a baby who is 4 months of age, is "very strong
willed"
and refuses to breastfeed except when she is lying down. She doesn't care
for cuddling in either. She doesn't want to be held by anyone but mom.
Not
even the dad. She won't take a bottle or pacifier-just for the record.>>
I had that baby! by six weeks of age I could no longer nurse her 'the
normal way' (cradle hold) She simply wouldn't do it. She became a
reverse cycle nurser. She'd rather starve during the day than nurse
while *anywhere* if we were out.
She also didn't like to cuddle, but did want to be held and walked
*constantly*. She wasn't terribly irritable, she was actually really
happy as long as I was holding her, walking her and showing her things.
I just couldn't hold her too closely (ie no cuddling/caressing etc),
couldn't sit down. The carseat was pure evil to her until 12 mos, then
still mostly awful till well over two. I carried her in a mayawrap
sling on my front or hip.
Eventually, we learned to nurse in the sling as well - in an upright
position. I call it the drop down - it's either a front "snuggle hold"
or the side "hip carry", just slightly dropped down so she could reach.
She'd be on my right side (rings on the left shoulder) Her head would be
in the crook of my right elbow, with my hand coming around to hold the
fabric of the tail by her face to that she could see out while I held a
little bunch of fabric by my breast/her mouth.
my left hand would go *under* the sling, inside of it (betwen me and the
sling) to hold my breast for her.
Learning to nurse in the sling for us was key. And I had to walk while
she was nursing. It was the only other option besides lying down for a
long long time.
I remember one day when she was about 12 mos old: she crawled into my
lap to nurse in the cradle hold. I about cried. It was so nice.
Had I not known of babies like this prior to having one, or had I not
had the breastfeeding knowledge that I did, I would have thought she was
'trying to wean', since it seemed like she really didn't want to nurse -
and that I was practically forcing her too. Because i was familiar
with babies like this, I knew I just had to work on creating the right
environment for her.
Even while nursing in the sling, she was very distracted if we were out
and about. From probably four to ten months, she only nursed 1x during
the day, but nursed alllll night long.
I did find a classical homeopath to work with around 8 mos of age.
That did help. Around 2 y of age, she was tested for gluten
intolerance/celiac disease (I had recently been diagnosed, she was
asymptomatic), and that ended up changing her behavior alot as well
(going gluten free).
However, she is still extremely persistent, *extremely* active, highly
sensitive etc etc. May want to encourage mom to read Mary Sheedy
Kurcinka's books _Raising Your Spirited Child_ and the other which I
enjoyed even more _Kids, Parents and Power Struggles_ (for it's in depth
discussion of temperment)
Best of luck to her. Feel free to pass on this email in it's entirety
(or in parts) if you'd like.
:)
katherine in atl
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