I was interested in Karleens post about adopted babies "remembering" the experience of being loved/held/breastfed by their mother and wanting to replicate that at a later age. The closest I can come to that is my own experience, which I shared on this list before, but particularly one aspect of it.
I was hospitalized at 18 months for burns and my parents were not allowed to stay with me at night. By all their accounts, (mother, father and grandmother) it was very traumatic for me and for everyone. I don't remember it. However, I've come to realize that it impacted my life deeply in a
hundred ways, some of which I have only just realized were a result of that early trauma. One thing I do remember is an experience as a child of, maybe, 7 or 8. I had gone to stay with my great-aunt for a week. She was a widow with no children, a very nice lady, but I didn't know her that well.
Up to that point, I had been known in my family for being happy to stay with any and everybody. However, one day into that week, I got a most intense feeling of abandonment that I still remember. It left me in tears, always trying to hide them so my great-aunt wouldn't find out. I cried myself to
sleep, quietly since she was in a bed in the same room. However, the second day, she caught me crying and when she gently asked me why, I couldn't even speak, I was so overwhelmed. When she asked if I wanted to go home, I shook my head "yes". All I could think of was my parents and my siblings
all being a family, only I wasn't there to be part of it. When my aunt asked if I wanted to go that night or wait until the next day, I could only say "today". She couldn't get me there fast enough! From that day, I was not so willing to leave my family and I believe now that that was an episode
of post traumatic stress disorder, which reopened feelings I had locked away. I've only recently figured that out, but I remember the incident and the feelings as though it was yesterday. I didn't know why I felt that way at the time, and my family certainly thought it was unusual, but my little
psyche remembered my 'abandonment' at 18 months and it haunts me still. I have no doubt that, on some level, babies and small children remember experiences that were especially meaningful to them. Some are traumatic events, and some are probably dredged up because of traumatic events or feelings.
Just my sample of 1.
Marsha, who now understands why I "couldn't" leave my babies in the hospital nursery or with sitters.
Marsha Glass RN, BSN, IBCLC ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mothers have as powerful an influence over the welfare of future generations as all other earthly causes combined.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~John S. C. Abbot~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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