The way that we, as women, think about advocacy is so very interesting.  Liz
wrote below about mothers' not needing "advocacy" lessons, but instead
needing help on how to resolve their situation.  If this is not advocacy,
then what is?  Helping a mother to look at feasible solutions and dialogue
with her employer is absolutely advocacy - this is all about teaching a
mother to advocate for herself - a concept that too few mothers understand
or are willing to undertake.  Why are we afraid of advocacy?

Ann Crittended wrote a wonderful article in the LA Times several months ago
about mothers and advocacy.  She states, correctly I believe, that mothers
are the best advocates - when they are advocating on behalf of their
children.  She goes on to argue that mothers do not use these same advocacy
skills to advocate for themselves.  I absolutely agree.  Too often a mother
just says okay and walks away from any situation in which her rights,
comfort, preferences are ignored.  As a result, we still feel fearful when
we breastfeed in public, we are still afraid to approach our employer and
tell him or her that we need a private space and time to pump at work, we
are still afraid to admit that we breastfeed our five, six, seven year olds.
  We are still afraid to tell the world that formula kills.  Because we are
afraid to be advocates.  Why?

Liz wrote:

>Mothers who are not being treated fairly in
>the workplace do not need 'advocacy' lessons, but they >need practical help
>on how to resolve their situation. >I have been training Leaders, and the
>PL
>Departments for quite some time on the proper way to >help an employed
>mother resolve her problems at work. >It usually comes down to helping the
>mother look at >feasible solutions, and then helping her to dialogue >with
>her employer to work out her situation.

Liz, why do you feel that advocacy hurts the breastfeeding community?  How
can it have no place in helping the individual mother and baby?

>Advocacy in my mind is something else. Changing the >law. Changing the
>attitudes about breastfeeding. >Advocating for a cause. It has no place in
>helping the individual mother and baby. It usually >results in hurting the
>breastfeeding community, not >helping.

Advocacy is so much more than lawsuits.  The law is one aspect of advocacy,
but advocacy ranges from a simple negotiation at one end to a contentious
lawsuit at the other.  There is so much in between.  It all has its place.

There is a book called "The Shadow Negotiation" by Judith Williams and
Deborah Kolbe - what a wonderful tool for us all to read and learn how to be
better advocates for ourselves.

I recently taught an advocacy seminar at The Woodhull Institute - a
leadership retreat program for young women.  I am working with Woodhull in
the hope that they will begin leadership programs for mothers.  Give mothers
the tools of advocacy and change the world.

Warmly,

Alexis


Alexis Martin Neely, Esq.
Mama to Kaia Ray Neely (11/2/99)

"Breastfeeding support is an integral part of the family/friendly workplace
environment." -Work & Family Coalition of San Diego
How have you supported breastfeeding today?





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