Cynthia wrote about the Leaven article entitled "Supporting the
Human-Milk-Feeding Mother."  It can be found at
http://www.lalecheleague.org/llleaderweb/LV/LVFebMar01p3.html .

This is a thoughtful article but I had the same reaction reading it as I
have had to several of the posts here.  Like Valerie, I really don't want to
tell mothers who have struggled to get the baby to the breast, pumping and
feeding their milk all the while, that they are not breastfeeding.  I
discussed the Leaven article with a mother who was in this situation.  She
is a LLL Leader and was distressed by the article in Leaven.  As I have read
the posts here, part of me has had hurt feelings, on behalf of this
determined woman.  She has had several children who had the classic
"oroboobular disproportion" which has been discussed here on Lactnet.  She
never gave up!  We corresponded by e-mail, she corresponded with Dr. Jack
and she was also seen by several LCs at the breastfeeding resource center
here in Lincoln.

I received an e-mail from her yesterday saying her now 5-month old son had
his first day ever where he took all of his milk at the breast.  She is also
tandem nursing her 2 year old who was not able to fully latch on until age 6
months.  For both of these children, and one other, she pumped her milk,
finger fed and sometimes bottle fed human milk until their mouths "grew
into" her breast.  I cannot even imagine the determination this required.
She refused to accept that these children would not breastfeed.  So her
perseverance has paid off and she is finally ready to get rid of the pump.
What a thrill it is to hear this news.  So would I want to put her in a
category different from me?  No, because I know that her babies were getting
skin-to-skin contact regardless of how she was feeding them.  In fact, I
would venture to guess that there are more than a few breastfeeding mothers
who had less eye contact and less social interaction during feeding than
this woman did with her children.

I have also had contact with women who had difficulties breastfeeding and,
not wanting to miss out on the well-known benefits of breastfeeding, have
chosen to pump exclusively.  Sometimes the problems preceding these choices
are minor and are perhaps more excuses than problems.  And there are women
who, all along, plan to exclusively pump.  I think the women who make a
choice to feed human milk, not at the breast, in a situation where
breastfeeding *is* an option need our support.  But like Gonneke, I find
myself judging them, wondering if they know what they are missing.  I would
not give up the intimacy of breastfeeding for anything.  It is such a big
part of my mothering.  I can't imagine mothering without breastfeeding when
breastfeeding is an option.

I agree that labels can provide information about a situation, but it seems
there are two types of human-milk-feeding mothers:  those who do so by
choice and those who do so by necessity.  It is the second group that I
grieve with.  But I hope the story I related about the mom whose baby is
getting all his nutrition at the breast now at 5 months will help us to
remember that anything is possible when you are working with a determined
mother!

Sara Dodder Furr, breastfeeding advocate and volunteer
Lincoln, Nebraska, USA

             ***********************************************
The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned
LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(TM)
mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html