A lot of people seem to have thought that I meant to say that LLL is bad.
Far from it.  In fact I actually don't think it is always a failing of LLL
that not all mothers choose it as their principal support network.

As several people have posted and also written to me off list, lots of
mothers touch base with LLL for information, or even pay an LC for
information, about breastfeeding, but then look elsewhere for their broader
mother-to-mother support needs.

Thirty years ago LLL was often the only place you could go to meet a bunch of
bf mothers.  Nowadays your church or synagogue or even work place may give
you that same company -- you can everything there except the expert advice,
and for that you may even feel it fairer to pay someone for their time, if
you're not going to be a member and really pitch in for the organization.

But if not joining LLL doesn't intrinsically mean a criticism of it, it might
equally be good for LLL-active folks not to automatically assume that mothers
outside the organization are lost in a wasteland of "bowling alone."    Of
course some people are lonely -- I'm not disagreeing with Kathy D that there
is some fear of connection out there --   and some fraction of them would be
happier if they found LLL .   But others are just finding their needs met
elsewhere.

Now that something like 2/3s of American women do initiate bf, and the
struggle is to get them to think it's normal to keep doing it, we need a
broad range of styles of supporting mothers.   No one organization is the
perfect support for the whole population -- it's not a reasonable
expectation.   That isn't what we have once we get "normal."

At LLL the context is bf, and other parenting support is woven into that.
(At lactnet too :) ! )   But lots of women who may be contentedly enjoying
their bf relationships may not necessarily choose them as the most important
context in which to find their overall spectrum of parenting support.

What I was objecting to was the assumption that because LLL is good, and
mother to mother support is indispensable, mothers who just check in with LLL
or even just pay an LC (horrors!) for info are basically
support-network-less, or unable/unwilling to have a relationship with their
infants.   It just ain't necesarily so.

What we need is for plain-old parenting groups, play groups of mothers in the
same business togethers, local daycare outlets, places of worship, hcps, etc,
etc etc to all support bf **in the contexts of the rest of family life** --
that is, for breastfeeding to be normal.

So I'm not bashing LLL -- far from it! -- when I say, guys, lighten up.  LLL
is good, but it ain't for everyone.  I am loathe to disagree with Diane about
anything, but I do about this.    If you think  your local chapter of LLL is
bad, then heavens, yes, go and fix it.   But if you think it just isn't for
you, or for everyone, why, go out and help support mothers some other way.
Be a WIC counselor, start your own mothers group -- in which, by the way,
nursing is the most natural thing in the word;  start a church group, start
an office club.   Hang around the parents room at preschool.  There are a lot
of women out there, and they need a lot of different things.   Get out there
and be normal.

Elisheva Urbas
"I contain multitudes" -- whitman, leaves of grass

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