Anyone who thinks that the few extra minutes of time spent "with a baby who
can't feed at breast" makes up for not giving him pumped breast milk is
seriously clueless.  It doesn't take that long to pump -- either with your
hands or with a breast pump.  The poor kid started life with a cleft palate,
and now he'll have a host of other health problems and a lower IQ, just so
his mother can spend an extra 40 minutes a day with him?

In response to this:
While I wholeheartedly agree that breastmilk is even more important for a
child with special needs or conditions there can be many factors that are
not being taken into account when judgement is passed on these women.

I can only share the story of a mother that I am working with who should be
given a medal for her efforts, IMO.  Her baby has a large portion of the
soft palate missing (as I understand it from the research we've done that
this is more difficult to overcome than hard palate & cleft lip problems).
The baby had weight gain issues & has a weak suck.  Suck-training with the
Haberman has not improved the suck & efforts to get the baby to the breast
with & without a shield have not been successful.

This mother has had to pump 8 times per day (including the middle of the
night) since her baby was born & had supply issues.  She used medication,
herbs, relaxation, etc to increase supply.  She had to nail down food
sensitivities.  The baby is very fussy at times, spits up frequently &
generally likes to be held a lot (what baby doesn't?).  Baby is a very
pokey eater - taking two hours to take two ounces from the Haberman at
times.

Baby is gaining & mother is learning the tricks of the trade (hand
expressing ½ an ounce after electric pumping is done) & jokes that Medela
is her other daughter.  Still, this has been an extremely difficult, sleep-
deprived adjustment for a first-time mother.  She has sacrificed time with
her baby to give her breastmilk and has had to balance hearing her baby cry
with finishing pumping.

She plans to continue for another year but shared with me that the morning
pump is the hardest because it is when she gets the most - only 4-5 ounces,
yet it is when her daughter is most likely to need her & pumps hoping that
she won't wake up & cry until she is done.

I did the pumping full-time for 2 weeks with my first & it was extremely
difficult.  I knew I'd get her back to the breast soon and that helped get
me through.  How many of us would be able to pump while we listened to our
baby cry for us?  Then factor in the feeding & cleaning of pump & one
spends 24 hours per day feeding!

I often need to remind myself that my breastfeeding experience is not the
same as others.  This mother I mentioned may have a lower storage capacity
than others.  She is absolutely doing the best she can & while I firmly
support & encourage her to keep going I would not judge her for stopping as
I know it would be a difficult, heartfelt choice.

If anyone has any suggestions on this mother's case, please send them on!

Kimberly Anthony
Mother, LLL Leader

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