Dear Lactneters

Over the last two-plus weeks I have received several private Emails.  Some
very encouraging (Pat, Sara, Jackie,Catharine, Teri, Querida, & Angie to
name a few - Thank You) and some not so encouraging.  After receiving some
I wanted to remain "signed-off" and let it be.  But some of the positive
responses just kept nagging at me, even ( and especially ) at work.  So I
have decided to try to add  "Balance" to  Lactnet and discuss mine and
others (if the response I received is any indicator) point of view.

Webster defines   Zealot -" as One who is Zealous, especially to a fanatic
degree, Synonymies -- implies great,often too great devotion to a cause or
intense activity in its support".   As I typed this definition I realize
that this would be offensive to some readers, and to them I apologies.   I
myself try to seek and live life with a "Balance" (defined as equality of
weight).  I am - a wife, mother, daughter, registered nurse, and teacher.
In all the  "hats" of life I try to find balance.  Sometimes, I too get out
of balance.  But I always try to look at a situations from someone else's
point of view and find reason or knowledge.

I have just finished several days (12 hour shifts) at work in our NICU.
This morning I was catching up on my Email and sat to think about how to
respond to them.  One of the Emails I received described some of the views
on Lactnet as " having tunnel vision..... forgetting  that anything besides
breastfeeing is of significance".  I thought this a great description.  It
could be used to just about anything including some of the nurses I work
with.  Another described some members of Lactnet as " having only community
based experience".   Others gave an international perspective of
breastfeeding.  All of these help add balance to my life.

I understand (now) that many of you have never been inside an NICU or seen a
1-2  pound baby after delivery.  The emotion, dedication and team work that
is made to help this little human being survive for the next few hours or
even for the next breath.  Then there is the family.  The effort that is
made to help them understand what is going on, what is needed to help their
son or daughter survive.  Some infants not even 24 weeks in gestation. How
an infant is going to be fed is not at the top of the list of things to do
right now.  Many parents have not , nor can they even think of this at this
point in time.

Depending  on the level of prematurity, or in the case of a closer to term
infant, the level of  illness,  enteric (or oral feedings) may not be
important  for several days.  It is during this "waiting period" that I try
to contact the mom and dad and give them our information, written for
preemies & sick infants, and breastfeeding if needed, find out what they
want or had planned to do in regards to feedings and encourage them to
bond, visit and ask questions about their baby.  I hope you can see that
this is a very intense and emotional time.  There isn't the joy and
happiness like that of  the full term , healthy infant.

Yes, Breast is best.  But some mom's do not want to breast feed, provide
their milk or even be near their babies.  There are a lot of reason but one
of the most common (in our unit) is the "Fear of loosing her or him".
"Getting close and then, they don't make it".  These are quotes from  real
mothers.  A lot of times we have to work through this fear to even get them
to hear or read the information we have.

And sometimes the nurses are so focused on "trying to save this baby" that
breastmilk is not even in the picture.  "What good is breastmilk, if there
is no baby to give it to".   I know this too is not a balanced view, but
then who said that nurses, or doctors for that matter,are perfect.

 I know that there is a place for all types and levels of teaching.
Emotional support and encouragement are vital.  We can and should work
together to help our mothers reach what ever goals are possible for them and
their infants.   It is to this endeavor that I try to keep "current" on
research both for breastfeeding and NICU care.   A lot of the information in
my library is now out dated, so I keep adding to it with the more current
information.  Remember "Old information in not always accurate".  Sometimes
we have to change our views ,as information changes.  Keep an open mind to
change and the things we might not know about {:- )

Thank you for reading;

Ann Slaughter, RN
 (NICU nurse and lactation organizer)

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