Katherine Dettwyler write, in part (I'm snipping the oil well analogy for
brevity, although I loved it):
> So then the questioner usually goes on to say: "Well, is it worth nursing
> for just a few months then?"
>
> My standard answer is:  "YES!!  Any nursing, even just a few days, can
make
> a lasting difference in the child's health."  And then I launch into my
'oil
> well' analogy, which anyone who has heard my "A Time to Wean" talk has
> heard, and which I'm sure is in the archives here.  Briefly, I say that
the
> benefits are extremely high in the early days, and thereafter they taper
> off.  The first day is the most important single day.  The first week is
the
> most important single week.  The first month is the most important single
> month, and the first year is the most important single year.  If you can
> nurse for 3 days, that's great.  If you can nurse for 3 weeks, that's even
> better.  Three months is an excellent start for your child, and three
years
> even better.

Turning this around a bit, this message can also be music to the ears of the
mother who nursed her baby a short time and is grieving over it. I know
because I once was that mother. I had been through so many stages of grief,
starting more than 8 years ago when I came home from my hospitalization for
postpartum complications and was bewildered to find myself a bottle-feeding
mother (something I'd never given a moment's thought to) and peaking much
later when I learned that I could have been attempting relactation all that
time I was mourning our loss. It wasn't until years later, when I was
nursing my second child and in another wave of grief (having fully
experienced what my son and I had missed) that I heard this message from a
La Leche League Leader who was also a friend of mine. It still brings tears
to my eyes to remember how deeply moved I was by her words. It didn't change
that I would have rather nursed him for years than days -- this will always
be among my deepest regrets -- but it gave me something positive to hold
onto after years of seeing myself as a failure in my earliest weeks as a
parent. I so needed that.

Thank you for posting this.
Warmly,
Janice Berry, Westerville, OH

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