I wanted to chime in on the pain in childbirth thread, because I think it is
bf-related, and because it's a big soapbox issue for me.

I know so many women who are terrified of childbirth, it just amazes me
(though I suppose it shouldn't...). Too many women (in the US, anyway) seem
to think that natural childbirth is an insurmountable goal, and thank God
for anesthesiologists!  Instead of seeing the birth itself as a major life
event and transition, and valuing it for it's difficulty, birth is
considered something to just get through (as easily as possible) so we can
get onto the rest of parenting. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a huge fan of
pain or difficulty, but I think that when we make childbirth so easy for
women that it requires little to no effort from them, it robs them of a very
transforming experience. All three of my children were born without any pain
medication, and though it was tough ( I always tell expectant moms that it's
an honest day's work, but it's manageable with the right support), I
wouldn't trade those days for anything. The days my boys were born are some
of my proudest because despite my fears, worries, and, yes, pain, I faced
all of it and came through the other side aware of strengths I didn't
previously know I had.

But here's where I think this relates to breastfeeding: When a baby is born
with too many interventions (a healthy baby, of course...), mom is left
thinking (on some level) that her body didn't or couldn't do what it was
"supposed" to do, (or that she couldn't handle it) so how can we expect her
to have confidence that her body will do what it's "supposed" to while
breastfeeding?  I think it's really sad, because in addition to losing this
major experience, they're set up so that they don't trust their bodies and
even their instincts, which opens them up to all the lousy advice they're
probably going to get from their in-laws, friends, and anyone else who feels
entitled to give them free parenting advice.

Well, I'll step off my soapbox before I really start raving. I just wish
more women could appreciate the process of birth, because I'm convinced it
would only strengthen them in the long run.

Karen Urbec
LLL Leader
North Carolina, USA

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