I'm back after nearly a month during which our computer was
critically ill.  Fortunately it wasn't terminal (no pun intended),
but it did require a transplant.  I have been trying to catch u[ by
scanning the archives over the past month.  There are several
threads I can't resis commenting on.
The first is the concern about visitors.  Here is a typical
scenario:
Mom comes to the hospital durning the day on let's say Monday.  She
labors the rest of that day and through most of the night.  She
delivers around 4 AM on Tuesday.  For the next couple hours she is
on an adrenalin "high" and baby nurses well at least 2 times.  Then
as her fatigue begins to catch up with her, the daytime routine
begins - day shift nurses doing their assessments, covering the
first day info on the "teaching list", baby's doctor visits,
examines baby and gives his/her little talk to the mom.  Then the
relatives begin to come in after which general visiting hours kick
in.  Meanwhile, baby has entered its normal "zonked out" phase when
it can't be wakened for feeding.  Finally, after supper the visitors
fade away, mom has reached her limit and needs to crash and guess
what?  Baby wakes up ready to "make up for lost time" and plans on
some marathon nursing.  What is likely to happen?  Mom gets
frustrated, some of the nurses may be too ready to feel sorry for
her and suggest they care for baby in the nursery (including
feeding) while mom catches up on her rest.
Sound familiar?  I see this scenario all too often.  I can certainly
sympathize with the mother feeling at that point that her need for
sleep overshadows everything else including nursing the baby.  I see
a couple fronts where we can combat this.  First is in prenatal
education.  In my breastfeeding classes I make a point of discussing
the visitor question.  (Ususlly right after I talk about keeping
baby in the room so mom can feed whenever baby shows an
interest-this is when the parents-to-be often ask about when mom is
supposed to sleep.)  I point out that it is a great boost to mom's
ego to have everyone "Ooh" and Aah" over the new baby.  She loves to
relate her birth story.  HOWEVER, she has 2 primary tasks to
accomplish in the short time she has in the hospital after
delivery.  First is to begin her physical recovery and second is to
begin to learn how to care for herself and baby.
I like to point out that one of the most important foles for mom's
primary support person (hopefully Dad) is to act as a "gatekeeper"
limiting visitors and the time they spend.  I suggest asking friends
and even family to wait until mom and dad have been home a few days
and have had time to get to know baby.  (A newly married couple
isn't expected to greet all kinds of visitors the first few days
after the wedding!)  One suggestion if there is a large number of
family and frineds who feel THEY, of course, are tho ones who can
visit the first day - have a drawing to see who gets to come the
first day and who has to wait for the invitation.
The second area of attack is that staff needs to "contract" with a
new mom as to when they need to check her and when she plans to
rest.  Then she can be uninterrupted so she can nap while baby
does.  There needs to be a reliable way to signal a "do not disturb"
room.  All too often I see a "don't disturb" sign on the door in
exactly the same place several days in a row.  No wonder they're
ignored!
We are working on a handout for expectant parents to give family and
friends about the impact of too much visiting during the "babymoon"
period.

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