Alicia,

You wrote:

< I should point out that I always ask new
mothers on their  first visit how they are feeding their babies. >

< I then
ask those who answer that they are bottle-feeding whether they had
considered and/or tried breastfeeding.  If they had, then I try to find
out why they are currently bottle-feeding.>

<I will give some serious thought to
ways of tactfully bringing up the issue with mothers and would welcome
Lactnetters' input on this touchy subject.>

With reflective listening, what you hear after approaching it as
sensitively as you describe often lends itself to opportunities to praise
early efforts.
Then, you can go on to reflect that "It sounds as if you (have, haven't)
completely resolved some feelings of regret, etc. etc."

And somewhere along the line, in honor of such feelings and/or possible
negative experiences, I have found this effective:

"I'm sorry that experience happened to you and your baby. It wasn't your
fault. (Sounds like words proven helpful for women who have been
victimized in some way, I know. But in many cases, that isn't too far
afield.)

"For you, or your relatives and friends who have babies in the future, we
now have better information, and I would be glad to provide it when the
time comes."

One small step for womankind.

Jean
******************
K. Jean Cotterman RNC, IBCLC
Dayton, Ohio USA

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