In a message dated 07/11/2000 10:32:20 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
[log in to unmask] writes:

<< This mother did not share any abuse history, and, to be honest, I did not
 ask.  Interesting thoughts. >>

I have client permission to speak more specifically today, in hopes that we
can all learn from her.

Lisa posted about her client whom she suspected of oxytocin deficits.  Lisa's
client now happens to be my client in therapy.  Lisa & I are close friends
and colleagues and Lisa had referred  her to me during the last pregnancy, on
the basis of her history & our shared wonderings.  Unfortunately, said client
couldn't quite bring herself to begin therapy until quite a few months after
her efforts to breastfeed had been discontinued.

I've been doing counseling now for a little over ten years (internships &
licensed), and have been helping women breastfeed for 25.  This is not the
first time I've seen something like this, though it is the most pronounced in
terms of difficulties.  I've never worked with anyone who is as profoundly
wounded as this woman.  The severity, longevity, and breadth of her abuse is
mind-boggling.  Some of it is almost unbelievable, except that there is
outside verification.  In addition to all of her direct perpetrators, she
only received the bare minimum of life-sustaining care.  She only remembers
her mother touching her twice, both times painfully, and one of which was a
slap across the face for trying to tell mom about one of the abusers.

Fast-forward to her pregnancies, the first of which occurred at 15.  This
woman wanted, on the surface, all of her children.  Because she has found
some different forms of help along the way, she has done an amazing job of
loving and nurturing her children, yet it has been *hard work* for her to
learn nurturing behavior.  She has shared with me some of the ambivalence of
deeply desiring her children and yet being terrified of being a mother.
Based on what I've seen with women of similar fears, I can't help but wonder
if something psychological led to chemical exchanges that inhibited
labor-inducing oxytocin release, esp. since pitocin was effective.

She has major body-image issues and of course has all sorts of stated
confusion about her sexuality and about touch in general.  Would it be
impossible that her aversions could still be so strong in her mind as to
inhibit oxytocin as she holds her baby to breast?

I don't know how these things would be measured in a way as to answer all of
these questions, but I can't help but continue to wonder.......

Nancy Williams, MA, MFT, IBCLC, CCE

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