This may sound hokey, but it works with children. Perhaps it will work (or at least give food for thought) with adults. When a new member arrives in a family, the "love bucket" of each member gets BIGGER, not smaller. In other words, our capacity to love INCREASES. It does not remain the same. You might ask this mother who is fearful about getting too attached/close to her second baby whether she felt that she should not have had her first baby for fear her love for him/her would interfere with her love for her husband (ie, take away her feelings of love/intimacy/attachment with him)? Another way to put it is, did she and her husband limit love-making so as not to take her "limited" love away from her baby? mailto:[log in to unmask] "We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations." Kathleen G. Auerbach,PhD, IBCLC (Ferndale, WA USA) [log in to unmask] WEB PAGE: http://www.telcomplus.com/~kga/lactation.html LACTNET archives http://library.ummed.edu/lsv/archives/lactnet.html