On 22/03/2012 17:48, Sara wrote: > Pamela, Rachel, all: Yes, *very* interesting!! > > How do these observations about protection and grieving and support jibe with my sense (at least) that even in the "natural" course of breastfeeding and weaning, a mother grieves when the breastfeeding portion of her relationship with baby ends. I would personally describe my reaction to weaning as nostalgia rather than as grieving. I suppose that technically nostalgia is a mild form of grieving, but, since the word 'grieving' has connotations of quite a severe reaction, it isn't the one I would have wanted to use. It would have framed my reaction in a way that was more severe and painful than was actually the case. Just as I needed to acknowledge my feelings, I also needed to avoid framing them as something more than they actually were, because that wouldn't have been any more helpful than trying to deny them altogether. I think it's important to be aware of this, because so much of what I was reading at the time seemed to be trying to tell me that it was all going to be horrible and so sad for me and baby and so difficult to deal with... I would feel far worse after reading the stuff that was meant to help me deal with weaning than I would before! It's important to acknowledge mothers' feelings and give them permission to feel that way, but it's also important to listen to how they *do* feel and not be in too much of a rush to assume they feel terrible. Best wishes, Sarah *********************************************** Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html To reach list owners: [log in to unmask] Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask] COMMANDS: 1. To temporarily stop your subscription write in the body of an email: set lactnet nomail 2. To start it again: set lactnet mail 3. To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet 4. To get a comprehensive list of rules and directions: get lactnet welcome