Dear all; Dr. T has shared that a mother she is working with has a very consistently unhappy baby in daycare. How frustrated and sad this mother must feel! I can only imagine her trepidation as she goes to rejoin her children at daycare, feeling as thought her baby may have had "problems" during her absence and she is going to "hear" about it. My heart goes out to her, and I commend her for her commitment. I appreciate the posts others have made; thank you, Norma, for suggesting we need to provide working mothers with more options to keep their babies close. Shannon suggested a bit of skin contact with the care provider. Thank you to those of you who gave information and suggestions about offering smaller portions, good physical contact, slinging, and learning more about whether bottles are being propped, etc. Those are all really good places to start, in trying to determine what may be contributing to the triggering of these behaviors. I would like to suggest a few more things- can this mother get to her baby to nurse at any point during the day? Is the care provider willing to bring the baby to mother to nurse? Would this mother be open to finding another care provider until the point that baby is not as unhappy, particularly if her care provider is not willing to be flexible and accommodating? In the event none of these things are workable, the baby may benefit from: mother's voice- soothing tape recording of mother singing, talking to baby using his name; phone calls from mother, if she's not already calling- and talking to HIM- can the provider call mother for soothing in the event the baby is inconsolable? And last, but certainly not least, I wonder if this baby would benefit from a worn article of mother's clothing? Some babies are able to relax a bit more if they can smell mother; a worn nightie or other item that has been worn a few days (doesn't smell like laundry detergent) can do wonders for some babies who miss their mothers intensely. Cee brings up a good point about mothers feeling guilty or pressured if they have to return to work. I'm sorry, Cee, that you didn't get good information from LLL. These days, LLL has a wealth of information to offer mothers who have separation. This mother can also be encouraged to visit the LLL web site (www.lalecheleague.org) to get more information. Under the "breastfeeding information" link, she can find FAQs by subject or topic, including (but not limited to) working and breastfeeding, milk storage guidelines, making the transition back to work and many, many others. In addition, there are articles from LLL's magazine for mothers, NEW BEGINNINGS, that are available. There's a whole slew on working and pumping! Perhaps she could get some additional ideas there? Some mothers may not thoroughly examine their personal situations to help them come to a conclusion that is workable for staying home. Many mothers don't know the effect separation actually has on their babies, and that information can make a huge impact on decisions. Some mothers are single parents and literally have no choice but to return to work. Regardless of the end result, *all* breastfeeding mothers need to be supported. Many mothers have been 100% successful breastfeeding after a return to work. I can only hope that at some point, babies are allowed to accompany mothers as they go about their daily lives as adults; or at the very least be *very* near by and easily accessible to their mothers. I would also encourage this mother to attend an evening LLL meeting, if she has one in her Area. Meetings can be a great place to meet other mothers, working or not, and to be in an environment of support. Other working mothers who attend can share their solutions, and maybe this mother can be encouraged and get more ideas. I wish this mother the best of luck. She's lucky to have Dr. Tieman and others for support, since it sounds like she is getting the short end of the stick from the daycare providers. What an uncomfortable situation she must be in. I don't think it's too late to make lemonade as best she can. Warmly, Tallis M. *********************************************** To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest) To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet All commands go to [log in to unmask] The LACTNET mailing list is powered by L-Soft's renowned LISTSERV(R) list management software together with L-Soft's LSMTP(R) mailer for lightning fast mail delivery. For more information, go to: http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html