For those of you who haven't seen this yet: a good laugh!
LISZT EFFECT: Child speaks rapidly and extravagantly, but never
really says anything important.
BRUCKNER EFFECT: Child speaks very slowly and repeats himself
frequently. Gains reputation for profundity.
WAGNER EFFECT: Child becomes a megalomaniac. May eventually
marry his sister.
MAHLER EFFECT: Child continually screams - at great length and
volume - that he's dying.
SCHOENBERG EFFECT: Child never repeats a word until he's used
all the other words in his vocabulary. Sometimes talks backwards.
Eventually, people stop listening to him. Child blames them for
their inability to understand him.
BABBITT EFFECT: Child gibbers nonsense all the time. Eventually,
people stop listening to him. Child doesn't care because all
his playmates think he's cool.
IVES EFFECT: the child develops a remarkable ability to carry
on several separate conversations at once.
GLASS EFFECT: the child tends to repeat himself over and over
and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
and over and over and over and over again.
STRAVINSKY EFFECT: the child is prone to savage, guttural and
profane outbursts that often lead to fighting and pandemonium
in the preschool.
BRAHMS EFFECT: the child is able to speak beautifully as long
as his sentences contain a multiple of three words (3, 6, 9, 12,
etc). However, his sentences containing 4 or 8 words are strangely
And then of course, THE CAGE EFFECT -- Child says nothing for 4
minutes, 33 seconds. Preferred by 9 out of 10 classroom teachers.
Houston Public Radio