I am a few days late, but wanted to comment on the mom who was physically 
unable to produce milk, but was interested in feeding at the breast.  Of all 
the adoptive moms I have been in contact with over the years, the majority 
have produced a significant amount of milk, just from nursing with a 
supplementer.  However, there have been a few, none of whom had been 
pregnant, who stuck with it for a significant period, but could never see 
that they were producing so much as a drop of milk.  What tends to happen, 
with those who keep nursing, without milk, is that after a period of 
diappointment over  the lack of milk, they learn to shift their focus, 
almost entirely, to the nurturing aspects of breastfeeding, and become the 
only person in the baby's life who can provide that level of nurturing.  I 
have always found these women to be a tremendous inspiration!  I don't know 
if it is known that this mom will definitely not be able to produce any milk 
at all but, if she can go into with the attitude that it is going to be a 
rewarding experience, just for the nurturing benefits, if she does produce 
some, it will tend to be seen as a bonus!

Anyway, I think the mom of this topic will very much enjoy nurturing her 
baby at her breast, and her baby most certainly will!  I would suggest that 
she might check into the Lact-Aid, as well as the SNS.  For moms who need to 
use a supplementer for every feeding, for a long period of time, the 
Lact-Aid is far more user friendly.  There are lots of reasons, including 
being much easier to get set up to nurse with, and also to nurse with 
discretely in public.  A few others are that it is much easier to adequately 
clean, easier to use without tape and that the bulk of it, which is less 
than the SNS, even when full, is almost nothing when it is empty.  It is 
very easy to go around wearing an empty Lact-Aid, without noticing it.  It 
is important for a mom who needs to use a supplementer on a regular basis to 
be able to get into a routine that she can keep up without having to put 
alot of work or concern into it.

I think I understand what this mom would have meant, that she was OK with 
formula, rather than going to great lengths to get donated breast milk.  I, 
for one, used mostly formula to supplement my milk supply.  With each of my 
kids, there was someone who donated a little bit of EBM, like enough for 
four ounces or so a day.  I felt good about being able to offer my babies a 
mixed diet of breast milk and formula.  It wasn't that I thought formula was 
just as good, but that, considering the situation, it was the best of the 
options I had.  Of course, I would have loved to be able to provide 100% 
breast milk, but I would have driven myself nuts, had I taken the attitude 
that what I providing was far inferior.  I believe that formula provided at 
the breast offers significant benefits over formula provided in a bottle, 
and have seen the act of  nurturing at the breast transform many little ones 
whose early lives have been traumatic.  The benefits are both physical and 
emotional, and often not dependant on there being milk coming from the 
breast.

I would invite this mom to visit ABRW, www.fourfriends.com/abrw , and wish 
her the best!

Darillyn

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