Because of what you've laid out for us, I feel they would all be best
served by admission as a dyad.  Perhaps at social service's insistence.
There is too much at stake to allow this convulted process to continue and
also an unfair responsibility for wet nurse and mat nurse.  Any delay along
the way could be disaster for baby.  Parents have already indicated their
feelings by insistence on BF in the face of obvivous FTT and bolting from
dr office.  Enough chances have been given and taken.

Sad to say but sometimes BF doesn't work for whatever reasons (I agree
mammary hypoplasia sounds like a good possibility.)  I would admit and used
donated milk via SNS since baby is so willing to stay at breast.  Baby may
not thrive or grow on only own mom's milk, but would still get whatever bit
she produces and the rest via CNS.  This may be the only compromise
available.  I would definetely use domperidone and any other herbal
remedies and a good electric pump. But in a place where direct observation
and follow-up are available - not parent's own home.

Those of you who know me well, know this would be a last resort as I
believe so strongly in supporting the parents where they are  and keeping
the "system" out.

Sincerely, Pat in SNJ