H i all
thought I'd add my 2c worth on this one. I also see babies being weaned at
the age where distractability becomes the norm, particularly during the day
feeds. This can begin as early as 4 months, with babe turning to inspect
the source of noise or movement. I guess the difficulty for many mums is
that they hear  all about listening to their babies cues and become quite
adept at that and they then misinterpret normal developmental
distractability as disinterest? I also hear them say that this makes it
very difficult to feed discreetly when in the public realm. Many of the
women (who are participating in the research I am undertaking) who wean
around 5-8 months are saying that their babies just don't seem that
interested anymore, so they assume that it is just time to wean. They
sometimes really believe this is baby led weaning!  On closer questioning
some will admit that it is a good opportunity to 'get their bodies/ life
back' others will say that they expected to feed until 12 months and are a
bit sad by reaching their goal. Many of these mothers have either not had
early b/f problems or have managed any they have encountered. I find it
particularly sad that they have gotten thru the hard part and should be
enjoying an ongoing b/f relationship but do not really understand that the
baby is not rejecting them but feels confident enough to explore their
world from a very safe and comfortable place - the  breast!.

I think there are a myriad of forces acting in premature weaning. Certainly
the aspect of being self centred - we do rear our daughters to be
independent individuals who can go out and get what they want - don't we? I
think the biggest problem with this is how do you then incorporate maternal
obligations/ responsibilities to the infant. I see the struggle going on in
many first time mothers between 'what about me?' and 'what the baby needs'.
Many mothers of young children complain that they become 'touched out' by
the end of the day and they feel like they have lost their 'life'. This is
particularly true in our society where motherhood is so undervalued. There
appears to be a certain amount of resentment that feeding is their sole
responsibility - they have either not achieved or have lost the sense of
'only I can do this' as being so incredibly special.

I tend to feel that most reasons cited for premature weaning are strongly
influenced by a woman's sense of herself as a mother and what it means to
be a mother in her own mind. If she has a strong belief in her mothering
role, she will overcome quite incredible odds to nurture her children. If
she is ambivalent or negative it will take very little to disrupt the b/f
relationship.

Having said all that I pose the question - what can we do about it?

warm regards
jenni
[log in to unmask]
"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hold on!"

----------