Hi Pam,
This is a very distressing situation for you.  You cannot help this
mother, she clearly needs in person help.  Perhaps you can leave it in
the mother's hands - tell her bf should not hurt if the baby is doing it
right, that an LC should be able to help, and that it's up to her.  If
she wants to bf this baby, she needs to get help.  You can't MAKE her
get help, and you are not responsible for her failure to do so.  It's
hard to watch someone make a choice you know to be harmful to their bf.
This is where healthy detachment comes in:  you need to step back,
realize this is not your problem, and get on with your life.  Focus on
helping the people you can help, and referring on the ones you can't.

This happens at all levels.  Some mothers we LC's see will not have a
baby's tongue-tie evaluated, others won't feed their baby more often,
others won't call early intervention to evaluate a baby who clearly has
a problem.  Nothing we can do, except to re-state our reasons for
suggesting what we have, and leaving the ball in the mom's court.
--
Catherine Watson Genna, IBCLC  New York City  mailto:[log in to unmask]

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