The mom's heart is beating, but not
pumping effectively and this is starting to effect her other organs.  She is
having a procedure today to address this; I have no details on the condition
or the procedure.  Right now, I think that we are all preparing
ourselves for some very bad news.

I have some ethical questions and I would like your collective and wise
input.  I take full responsibility for my questions and possible actions and
hope that my suggestions will not be offensive to any of you.

I will be going to care for this baby when she is released from the
hospital.
I am actively thinking about putting this baby to breast, bringing a stash
of EBM with me from women here who  are close to me.  Being a
CBE, I have lots of sources, and a couple of newborn milk sources.  No
colostrum, but  could have a source at any moment.  Had 3 last week!  The
issue is the appropriateness of the source, and I am ignorant on this and
milk banking in general.  Carol sent me a milk bank number and I will be
calling ASAP for education and resource information for sources.

I must consider my brother's wishes on this; it is his daughter.  I am
concerned about making a decision without his consent.  He is so focused on
his wife's survival and we know that in most people's minds,
the issues of breastfeeding and breastmilk at this point are probably long
gone (not that it was ever a driving priority like it is for us).

Would they resent it, resent how it might make this mom and dad feel, and
think it absurd even discussing to suggest donated milk or butting baby to
my breast?  You know that they already expect me to drop it.   Would it
alienate them from
me?  Would it portray breastfeeding in a negative, fanatical light and undo
all the progress I have made with my family on the Kangaroo care?  I have
so many worries.

Now I consider the ethical implications of acting or not.  If we lived in
another place, other women would have already stepped in.  Our culture's
treatment of infants has never impressed me.  This baby is no less important
than her mom, but by comparison, breastfeeding and breastmilk  seem
optional.

I am already grieving the loss of breastfeeding for this baby and I hope
that this is all the grieving I am going to do.  The good news is that there
are 3 women in line now to go to the NICU to hold our baby girl.

What do you think about the ethical implications of consent and donated and
banked milk?

Thank you for all of the information and overwhelming support coming to our
family from around this world.
Lactnet is as precious as breastmilk.
Joanne

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