Angela Leonard writes of an expectant mother whose doula she will be, that
she doesn't want to breastfeed because 'I can't stand the thought of
something sucking on me all day.'

Who among us can stand that thought?  Angela, maybe you could bring it up
again, after thinking about what she said.  Can she stand the thought of
holding *something* in her arms much of the day, or laboring for hours so
that *something* can be born?  A baby isn't some thing.  A baby is your
child.  It might be an opening to talk about what a baby is, and the process
of getting to know the baby and falling in love with it.  Someone has cared
enough to hook her up with a doula.  That's a good start.

Her own birth mother probably couldn't stand the thought of a lot of things,
and her adoptive mother probably didn't know much about breastfeeding a
child she didn't give birth to.  So she is coming to this experience with
some obstacles already.  Maybe she is open to talking about what motherhood
means to her, especially if she feels confident that you are not trying to
persuade her of anything.  She doesn't have to make a decision about
breastfeeding now, she can wait and see what she feels when she sees HER
baby, who most definitely will not look to her like a *something*.  If she
is able to be skin to skin with the baby for the first couple of hours post
partum, it may be that the baby will make the decision for both of them.

Rachel Myr
Kristiansand, Norway

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