Just acknowledging that it WAS a loss and it's okay to be sad is incredibly
helpful.  It feels like a huge wound to them, and it's usually invisible to
everyone else.

I've thought for a long time now that the huge lack of support from nurses
in our local hospital has to do with their own unacknowledged feelings of
loss around breastfeeding - they may not consciously be trying to undermine
breastfeeding for others, but given the end result, whether they are aware
or not doesn't make much difference to young moms.

In my opinion, debriefing one's own experience around something as emotional
as breastfeeding should be a required part of the training process for
everyone that works with mothers and infants. 

I'll add it to my list of 'perfect world' items.

Ingrid


-----Original Message-----
From: Lactation Information and Discussion
[mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Rachel Myr
Sent: Thursday, March 15, 2012 4:35 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: debriefing on failed breastfeeding

I was so glad to see Teresa mention Stephanie Casemore's book 'Breastfeeding
Take Two' in response to Michelle's question on whether anyone has done any
work on this.  Lynn mentioned counseling skills and I agree that they. too,
are essential for anyone providing professional help to other people for
anything that is comparable to what we do with breastfeeding.
Stephanie's book is about the reactions to breastfeeding failure with an eye
to helping women have a better experience next time around.  I think most of
us would benefit from reading it, to be able to better
help women we are working with.   I would also recommend it for women
who like to read their way to enlightenment.  Not everyone takes in
knowledge or experience through the written word, so if you are the one
helping such a woman, you might be more of a help to her if you had read the
book yourself.  And, if you went into your work because of your own lousy
experience, I would really recommend reading it so you can take control of
how that experience affects the way you practice.

Rachel Myr
Kristiansand, Norway

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