----- Original Message -----
From: <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Tuesday, August 12, 2008 6:32 PM
Subject: Re: [LACTNET] depressed mothers
**Hello all,
**Diana wrote:
> In my experience, motherhood wasn't the catalyst for
> depression...OTHERHOOD was.
**What a nice word! Doesn't work in Dutch, unfortunately... ;o)
Diana: Everything else society/my family/my friends/my community wanted and
expected of me just ran me down. I know this isn't the same as a serotonin
imbalance-induced depression,
**Interesting remark... I just read Jennifer's post on emotions influencing
all our cells and inner systems and I would not be surprised if a serotonin
imbalance is not just a thing falling down from heaven, a bad card that was
simply dealt without a history of its own, but has a psycholocigal cause,
too, although that cause may be so deeply hidden that it is hard to track
down. The more I learn, the more amazed I am at the intricacy of hormonal
systems and the more I understand about how deep their impacts are on
behavioural aspects. I ordered at Amazon again... my, that site is like a
candyshop!! I ordered several Bowlby-books (to prepare for Vienna, but I'm
still reading Sarah Blaffer Hrdy's 'Mother Nature' and don't go as fast as
during the holiday...), I received Ashley Montagu's book 'Touch, the
significance of the human skin' and yesterday 'Why love matters, how
affection shapes a baby's brain' from Sue Gerhardt arrived. They all deal
with coherent topics, one that just doesn't stop to fascinate me and one
that can teach us a lot about how chemicals (the bad ones, but most
certainly the good ones like oxytocin as well) rule us after all those
millenia, no matter how much we would sometimes like to believe we are
rational beings with a firm grip on everything and not responding so
instinctively and primarily as many animals... ;-) (Sure, we do have a
somewhat better grip, but the hormones are still there, nevertheless.)
but I think it's very real and probably far more common than just my
experience. I also think that most women today are so conditioned to
believe they're supposed to "do it all" that they don't even recognize the
source of their depression as all of these demands of "otherhood."
**That may very well be the case, even if we are sort of not supposed to say
that, because society does not expect us to love motherhood so much that we
want to stay at home for it...
Well, my kids have grown quite a bit by now; the youngest turned 12 this
Summer and will start highschool next week. I would still love to stay at
home and read all those seductive books that are on the shelve... Hope my lc
practice is not gonna get off to a good start later this year... leaves me
time to read! hahaha
Warmly,
Marianne Vanderveen, Netherlands
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