I must write to second Maureen's comments about people asking for
references, help, information, advice, etc.  I spend an inordinate amount of
time looking things up for people -- in the LactNet archives, on Medline,
etc., all places that most people could look things up for themselves.  I
had one person write me and ask me to kindly summarize for her the main
points in all of my writings and research.  Sigh.

I don't think it's the asking that bothers Maureen so much -- like me, she
does what she can, when she can -- it's the public reprimand for not
responding "Johnny-on-the-spot" which was rather rude, not to mention
unnecessary.  We don't spend all our time actively hooked up to LactNet!!
Not to mention that sometimes emails sent never arrive -- either the request
never arrived or the answer was lost in cyber space on its way back.  And we
do have jobs, families, etc.

Also, I get many requests to send copies of articles, but with no street
address provided.  So then I email back and say "Please send me your street
address and remind me what it was you wanted."  Three days later I get an
email with a street address, but no clue what it was the person wanted.  I
have by then erased the original email, so I no longer have any idea what to
send.  I suppose people don't realize that I get 5-10 requests like this
every week.

In *every* case where I have responded to a frantic phone call or email from
a mother wanting copies of my research and a cover letter for use in a
custody battle or child abuse accusation case, I have never gotten so much
as a "thank you," let alone reimbursement of the $15.00 charge for sending
the packet by overnight mail.  I suck up those efforts and costs myself.
And since I never hear from these people again, I never know the outcome of
the cases.  It is very frustrating and I do wonder sometimes why I bother.

Please everyone, remember to be kind and express gratitude when it is felt.
I am sure I am not alone in wanting to have Maureen Minchin's input into the
discussions we have here on LactNet!






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Katherine A. Dettwyler, Ph.D.                         email: [log in to unmask]
Anthropology Department                               phone: (409) 845-5256
Texas A&M University                                    fax: (409) 845-4070
College Station, TX  77843-4352
http://www.prairienet.org/laleche/dettwyler.html