Is the hospital big enough to ask for a second neonatologist's opinion 
on banked milk?  Could she bring in information from Dr. Wright (sorry 
if spelling wrong) on this list regarding milk for baby?  Could she get 
another doctor to RX it for the baby and bring it in as her own milk?  
Could she get a friend to pump milk and bring it in for the baby?

Have you also counseled her what you sig file says?  Letting her know 
what she feels is AGONY and not so much guilt may change her ability to 
cope with the situation.  It will allow her to grieve and then move on 
to the best thing for her baby ---- advocate for donor milk.

Calling the milk bank closest to you and speaking to them about this 
may lead to some ideas about what to do in your situation and your 
location.  I found the donor milk banks to be an excellent resource not 
only for getting donor milk for babies but for how to convince the 
unconvinced that they need it.

Also, in the words of my son's surgeon: You don't have to convince 
anyone of anything.  You tell them what they can and cannot do.  
Letting her know she has the power to tell the doctor, "I want my baby 
to receive donor milk.  I don't care if formula is fine for someone 
else's baby, it's not fine for mine.  Will you RX it for my baby or 
should I find another neonatologist who will?"

I have found in my short career as a hospital advocate for my child 
that being direct with doctors about what you will and will not allow 
for your child ALWAYS gets the best results: The ones where they treat 
you like an adult who can make decisions for your child.

Finally, I would encourage her to feed the baby at the breast with an 
SNS once baby can tolerate non-NG feeds.  This may go a long way toward 
healing that sadness she feels.

Katie Bredbeck


On Saturday, July 9, 2005, at 02:19  AM, Renee Drake wrote:

>  She is having a hard time because she wanted to breastfeed so  badly. 
>  S

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