Jack Newman has a good article on guilt and breastfeeding, which I mentioned
in my letter to the newspaper re: dworkin's article

http://users.erols.com/cindyrn/newman.htm

Michelle

----- Original Message -----
From: "Michelle DePesa" <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, January 09, 2002 11:23 PM
Subject: GUILT again - and inappropriate reassurance


> I am deeply perplexed by all these accusations (especially the Dworkin
> article) about breastfeeding making mothers feel guilty etc. etc. I was up
> quite late last night trying to think of a single other instance in life
> where anyone gives a rat's patootie about women feeling guilty. There just
> aren't any. Women are made to feel terribly guilty if they are too fat, if
> their nails are too thin, hair too limp, asthmatic children are said to be
> the product of "smothering" or "unaffectionate" (depending on the year)
> mothers, it goes on and on. You are guilty if you go back to work; guilty
if
> you don't. Guilty if you resume sex after childbirth, extra-guilty if you
> don't want to. And look at this advert I received recently in the mail for
a
> migraine medicine:
>
> http://www.michelledepesa.com/zomigad.jpg
>
> and don't forget the crash-test- dummy PSA with its not-so-subtle hints
> about where you'll spend eternity if you don't put your child in a car
seat
> (see Kathy D.'s post on this).
>
> YET -- mention breastfeeding, and folks come out of the woodwork from all
> walks of life, (but especially book writers and hcp's) waving their hands
> and begging us not to make parents (especially *mothers*) feel guilty! Can
> it all be chalked up to the obvious fact that there is a very expensive
> consumer product at the end of this "protection" (one that after just a
few
> "hits" the user is hooked)? Or is it more than that.
>
> Books (even those by Sears and Sears) commonly succumb to this as well.
The
> authors list all the fabulous reasons to "choose" breastfeeding and their
> info sometimes good, but then it sums up a segment on bottlefeeding by
> asserting that if you choose bottlefeeding "whatever your reasons" you
> should not feel guilty, ABM fed kids do fine too, etc. I see this all the
> time. Everywhere parents are urged to consider the ramifications of their
> choices - EXCEPT with breastfeeding. The problem with this pre-emptive
> assuaging of assumed guilt is that it really is inappropriate reassurance.
> Anyone on the fence about breastfeeding will stop when they see that kind
of
> info, or read the Dworkin article or similar. I know I do this a lot. When
I
> wanted to hear that ibuprofin was ok to use during pregnancy, I kept
looking
> until I found a source that said so - I read the warnings, got concerned -
> *but kept looking* until I found the reassurance I was after then
*stopped*
> looking. I see this often with women who are ambivalent or undecided about
> breastfeeding. It only takes one such bit of evidence and the search ends.
> This is what worries me the most, because that inappropriate reassurance
is
> everywhere (as we saw in the "pros of bottlefeeding" handout many of us
> critiqued).
>
> Michelle DePesa
>

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