In my experience, there is no gender difference.  I am just as likely to hear
wonderful words of wisdom from either gender and horror stories that make me
worry for the health of our babies from both genders in equal distribution.
It is not about gender, it is about thinking and training and philosophy.  I
find the same is true for obstetricians and even nurse midwives (which can be
men by the way---and he was quite kind and gentle.)  I think it is sad to say
this, but many women have left behind the part of them that would let us think
"she's a woman, she'd understand" because the world she lives in is not
'feminine'.  I do find it is more damaging from a woman because we 'expect' a certain
level of care and thought, where as a man saying those things we can ignore
based on his 'maleness'.  I try to remember it was not my maternal instinct
that drove me to mother my baby as I did.  It was a book written by seven women
and it was a husband who insisted any child of his would sleep beside him and
would be breastfed. Other books were written by mens written by a man and
influenced many of the choices I made.  Period.  I think we are a long way away
from wise woman's wisdom and even farther away from the image of normal we like
to think existed.  (Thank you to Barbara Wilson-Clay for always reminding us to
take off our rose colored glasses when we look into the past and when we try
to determine the course of normal.)  Breastfeeding is unusual in the medical
world.  There is no only one right answer, there is much experience generated
knowledge as well as book learning, there is what works for one does not work
for the other.  One day I was complaining that breastfeeding and pediatric
parenting advice seems so different and they would not use that thinking in other
medical specialties---you know-- the 'I have always done it this way and will
not change' and the 'it worked for me, it is fine for you.'   But the reminder
was given to me that we all do the same.  We discuss what worked for us, even
though at this point there is no hard and fast rule.  We solve problems with
many different solutions.  The difference is, we think we are right...oh, so
do they.  haha.  It is a hard work we do.  Valuing and protecting breastfeeding
while those who should support the same have their own experiences and
agendas in the way.

I just don't see it as a strict gender difference, though it would stand to
reason it should be.

Take care,
Pam MazzellaDiBosco

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