Hi Andrea -
These poor moms who are in shock with the first baby!  See a lot of this as
work with many older, professional-career moms who produce first baby at
35-45 and just not prepared.  Sometimes it helps to let them know that what
they see now (first month) is not what they get long-term!  I think they
imagine life with a newborn is what they will have for next 18 years.  One
of those "some mothers may feel..." chats is often helpful.  Validate her
negative feelings over not enjoying where she is and then point out that
positive change is coming - light at the end of the tunnel.  The english ped
Penelope Leach states in one of her books thAT newborns are neither loving
nor lovable.   For these unattached moms this reassures them that their
failure to bond instantly is not an indication of long-term problems. They
can be optimistic that love will come over the weeks ahead.  And it does.

Those moms who tell me they can't get up at night - sometimes they need to
be looked after before they can look after the baby.  Postpartum doulas are
just wonderful in this situation.

Cheers,
Joanna Koch IBCLC  

 

 

             ***********************************************

To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail
To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest)
To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
All commands go to [log in to unmask]

The LACTNET email list is powered by LISTSERV (R).
There is only one LISTSERV. To learn more, visit:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html