Poor Kathleen!  Your story gave me the chills.  I have put myself in this
position countless times, and have always been lucky so far.

I get calls constantly at the hospital asking how to wean early, and I
always feel bad for the baby.  I assure the moms they've come to the right
place, saying there are good and bad ways to wean and I can help them do it
safely.   Then I ask why they want to wean (and after some sympathetic
noises) tell them that while I understand what they are saying, I prefer,
"as a nutritionist," that mothers bf babies longer (or, "for at least a
year" if the baby is very young), and that I don't see any particular
reason to wean in their case.  (Portentous silence while I wait to see what
they say next.)  I have been lucky so far, no one's gotten angry and many
decide not to wean at this point after all.  Just as some moms are looking
for permission to quit bf, some are looking for permission to keep on bf.

I always try to get them to keep bf, unless they have a really sound reason
for quitting (chemotherapy was one I agreed with!).  Most moms just think
the baby's old enough not to bf (and so far it's always been under a year!
I admitted to a mom yesterday that once I get everyone in the valley to
accept a year of bf as the norm, I'm going to push for two!).  But since no
one has hung up on me and cut off the dialogue (yet!), I always get a
chance to teach them the humane (for the baby) and healthy (for them) way
to wean.

I'm sorry you had such a heartbreak, but it may help prepare me and other
Lactnetters for the possibility (eventuality?) that it may (or will) happen
to us.  I think it's better to take the risk of offending someone than to
blithely tell everyone how to wean without a little professional advice not
to.

Sending you a virtual hug,
Arly Helm

[log in to unmask] (Arly Helm, LC)