"Has anyone noticed a correlation between moms who are so fastidious
about
housekeeping and whether they are successful at breastfeeding? "

Having just spent a day listening to Jeanne Watson Driscoll speak on
women's emotional health through the childbearing years, I tend to look at
this behavior as being troublesome.

This kind of behavior could be symptomatic of a mood disorder in the
postpartum period. Obsessive Thought Disorder can trigger this controlling
behavior enabling the mom to avoid being with the baby. It is a defense
mechanism that is developed to protect the infant from harm that the mother
sees in her mind. Obsessive and intrusive thoughts about harming or having
harm come to her baby make it difficult for the mom to let herself go into
mothering.

I myself suffered from the most horrendous and terrifying thoughts that
sent me fleeing from the house, dawn to dusk. We went everywhere: park,
shopping, visiting....I had control when I was moving. When I was home
alone with the baby I was afraid all the time. I had visions of harming my
son. I put all the sharp knifes in a safe place outside of the house. I
didn't tell anyone about what I was thinking because I thought that I was
crazy and the powers that be would take my baby away from me, my husband
would hate me and leave, my mother would be right about me being too
young...etc.... I kept this secret for years. (OTD moms DO NOT act on their
thoughts, psychotic moms do) I did everything I could to control filling my
time. Unfortunately, the cleaning wasn't part of it!!!!

Breastfeeding for us was a challenge. Slow weight gain, lots of colicky
behavior and he never seemed to sleep more than a few hours at a time. I
was stubborn, so I hung in there. I can imagine how much simpler it would
have been just to quit and bottlefeed the baby.

Ellen

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